Recently in Phrase of the Day Category

As we all left B&Q this morning, turning out on to Leeds Road, Jilly noticed two teenagers walking towards town. They both seemed to be walking a little peculiarly, the reason being that they were each wearing what appeared to be 'moon boots', rubber looking ankle high boots with enormous, possibly 15cm, rubber soles.

Quite astonished [and probably a little jealous(!)], Jilly asked, "What are they walking on?"

From the back of the car, while she played with her toys, Evelyn exclaimed, "The Paff! [Path]".

Absolute comic genius!

And then, this afternoon, Evelyn and Jilly were upstairs, tidying Evelyn's room, when I heard Jilly raise her voice to Evelyn after some obvious and terrible misdemeanor.

"Don't shout at me", pleaded Evelyn, "I'm just a little baby!"

And to think...Jilly complains when Evelyn successfully [and, admittedly, effortlessly!] wraps me around her little finger...I dunno!

As Jilly was reading to Evelyn in bed this evening, I was going downstairs to make some tea. Evelyn, seeing me go downstairs, called me back into her bedroom and, as I leaned over to kiss her goodnight, she said,

"Night night, sleep tight. Love you".

As Jilly's always reminding me, I'm a big soft sh*te; but that's enough to make anyone blub! Isn't it?

Another giant leap [for Jilly and I certainly] in Evelyn's development, is the departure of Evie's cot and the arrival of her big girl bed!

After an initial, "I want my tot [cot] back, this bed is rubbish!" [Mummy pointed out to Evelyn that the bed wasn't quite so rubbish when Evelyn was bouncing up and down on it immediately after we'd assembled it], Evelyn seems to have come to like her new bed.

As Evelyn and I left Nanny and Poppie's this evening, I was forced to put Evelyn in her child seat as [as she is inclined to do, of late] Evelyn was determined to mess around and, generally, not get in her seat.

Evelyn screamed until the car vibrated [almost], demanding to go back to Nanny's house. I explained that I had to put her in her chair, that Mummy and Tee-tee were looking forward to seeing her, that I was sorry for upsetting her, and that we all love her very much.

Evelyn's reply? That I didn't like her and that I was a, "horrid man", and that I was, "'tinky [stinky] and Pooey!".

On the positive side, after her bath this evening, as I dressed her for bed, Evelyn asked that she be allowed to put her own 'jama bottoms on. The liddle beaudee put her left leg in her pyjamas and then, balancing on her left leg, sucessfully put her right leg in the right leg of her pyjamas. It would be ungentlemanly of me to suggest that she had difficulty pulling her 'jamas over her bottom, but...er...she had difficulty pulling her 'jamas over her bottom and I had to help her negotiate her nappy...FANTASTIC!

On the way home from swimming, this morning, Evelyn was playing with one of Dom's toys in Henney's car. Apparently this toy makes a particular sound when it's wheels are turned...a sound not unlike a fart. When Jilly asked Evelyn what she was doing, Evelyn replied,

"I'm doin' fart".

In understandable disbelief, Jilly asked Evelyn to repeat herself.

"I'm fartin'!", she said.

In her efforts to control her laughter, Henney almost crashed the car [allegedly].

Recently, Evelyn has begun using a phrase that I find particularly upsetting.

Most often at bed time, when Evelyn is tired and grumpy, and Jilly and I are trying to get her ready for bed, Evelyn has started to demand, "Stop tissing [kissing] me!". Evelyn's demand is usually made as a result of my trying to appease her while she complains about being dressed by her mummy. Liddle ingrate. Beaudeeful liddle gorgeous princess (etc., etc., etc...)

Soon after we put Evelyn to bed this evening, I heard her calling for her mummy to, "Tum upstairs, Mummy".

As is the norm, recently, I was expecting just another of Evelyn's little time wasting exercises. When I went into her room, though, Evelyn told me that her toe was hurting, pointing to the outside of the sole of her right foot. On closer inspection, I saw what I thought was a little spot on her foot. I told Jilly about the spot, and she then went to see for herself. It wasn't a spot at all, it was a splinter.

As all parents do [certainly, my mum did!] Jilly and I set about trying to remove the spinter using sterile tweezers, and anti-septic cream. Evelyn wriggled and kicked, and screamed and cried, and turned every way imaginable as I held her on her changing table while Jilly tried to remove the splinter. Eventually, Jilly began holding Evelyn as I tried to squeeze the splinter out. Evelyn began screaming and wriggling again, trying to break away from her mum, and through her tears, pleaded, "Stop hurting me, Daddy"! It broke my heart.

Fortunately, our liddle beaudee is fast asleep in her bed now but, unfortunately, Jilly thinks that I failed to get the splinter out. Jilly has 'soaked' the splinter site in Germolene and covered it in a plaster, and we're both hoping that it will work its way out during the night. Neither of us went to have to subject Evelyn to that particular trauma again...

31 July 2006 :: 08:10

I didn't publish this entry until today as the whole episode upset me so much. As Jilly is constantly, and sensitively, reminding me, I'm a, "big soft shite"!

As I was bathing Evelyn, this evening, she started complaining that the soapy lather she was playing with was washing off her arms. I tried to explain that it would wash off, if she continued splashing around in the bath, but she wouldn't have it.

"You're a little moaning Minnie, Evelyn!", I told her.

"No", she said, "I'm a little Buddha!" [I know she's small and (increasingly less) bald, but she's not fat [except for her little elastic band wrists and ankles].

When Jilly joined us in the bathroom, I told her what Evelyn had said. Immediately, Evelyn repeated her phrase, adding, "...Nana said!".

Of course, when I remembered that, earlier this evening, I'd told Evelyn that she was a 'little bugger', everything became clear.

Little Buddha...buddy flies...I'm lovin' it!

As Evelyn's vocabulary seems, all of a sudden, to be developing at an astonishing rate, I thought it might be nice to introduce a series of 'Phrase Of The Day' to my Gingatopian chronicles. In truth, it was a particular phrase that Evelyn used today [and subsequent variations on the theme!] that has prompted this decision.

Together with the current heatwave, Gingatopia is currently suffering [like every household, I'm sure!] a plague of bluebottles. Believe me, Evelyn had something to say about that!

As we all got up this morning, the first thing Evelyn said, on entering the living room and seeing approximately half a dozen flies buzzing around the room, was, "Aaarrgghh! Buddy flies, again, in my house!"

I can't begin to imagine where Evelyn has heard that sort of expression, though I know that Jilly has been especially irritated by the flies over the last few days.

And, the variations on the theme? At different times of the day, Evelyn has been heard to exclaim...

"Buddy flies, in my car!", and

"Buddy flies, in my garden!"

I'm sure I should be taking Evelyn's language more seriously, but it's just so delightful, hearing Evelyn compose sentences at all.